I have neglected this blog for a long time..

and i have been reading thru it .. its so outdated.. makes me sound  like a very troubled angry person ..

im not .. im thankful and grateful for my life.... everything is as good as it should be.. i cant ask for better.

<3

i should start writing my poems again tho. so people know how i am now.. rather than how i used to be

A blank thought

no words to say

been doin nothing all day

just lost in this life of nothingness

dont have a ryme to follow this

Its here and now

make your choice

he'll help you out

just use your voice

I never want to see you cry,

for that my heart hurts with you

all i can do is try and help you through

you baffle me in lots of ways

mystery to me everyday

but somehow i feel close to you

I found in you a friend thats new.

Words wont say what i want them to

about you

its so brand new

being with you

Never for sake me or

leave me for dead

your in my heart ,your in my head

now i wish i could take back what ive said.

my doubts of you

and your gracefullness

my doubts of him

and his forgivingness

I fall on my face whenever it rains

when im hurt you heal my pains

you shine on me when the sun comes out

this is what lifes all about

living for god in all we do

living for him , gives purpose to you

you make bad choices everyday

but jesus died to take them away

gods there, never leaves your side

take advantage of your tour guide

It never stops

It never ends

This unhappy state im in

raging anger

enormus hate

Hearts are not ment for this state

were supposed to love

and not to fight

our relationship just doesnt seem right

we try to help

but he doesnt hear

he wants no help

he's made that clear

His selfish ways

are bout just him

The pictures clear

but to him its dim

He doesnt care

He deosnt know

and if he cares it doesnt show

he has a heart

but doesnt feel

and with his problems

he just will not deal.............

He's not what i though

He's a different man

Ill never fall for him again

He's not what I thought

he thinks he knows me

but thats someone he'll never see

Because he judges way to fast

from now on he's in my past

how could i have been so dumb

listening to my heartbeat drum

again ill not make that mistake

at the end i find they're all fake

I hate you so much right now

Never used to think i'd know how

Guess i was wrong, Like i usually am

For you I'll never give a damn

Yeah thats right

My Hatred I wont fight

Cuz i want you to know

how much you hurt me so.

Why waste this time

why try to try

because i know that they know

But all the do is lie

To me they are blind

to them they can see

to me they are def

they wont listen to me

So lets go and get someone who makes the blind to see

and deaf to hear

Because i know i didnt waste my time when they've got god near!

Want to be in your arms

Hold me close were i belong

The teddy bear of my life

I hope you'll never leave my side

Gettting older changing times,Leaving high school soon

Yearning for just one more day with you

But i feel theres nothing I can do

Helpless,Hopefullness

wondering what will happen next

Im shaking scared,He will leave

Cuz he no longer has time for me

Im only a girl whos young and nieve

heartbroken if he leaves

Gone forever,not coming back

Gone forever on a one way track

that will take him to beyond and above

only to forget our childish high school love.

BLUE

Ive been thinking about you all day

and how you have pushed me away

just wanting to know why

You'd enjoy making me cry

I was once a girl who admired you

But who you are on the outsides not always true

Your true colors have shown through

And they definately rub off blue

Your the thoughts in my head

your the tears in my eyes

your the blood in my body

the bed where i cry

the fears in my heart

the voice in my head

Now that your gone the love is killed ,now dead.

I know it wasnt to be

for you to be with me

you have your eyes set

on someone else that you met

Shes all you want , shes just so fake

for you to see that, what will it take

will it take a conversation?

or just a glare

will it take a conversation

this is too hard to bare

Unsure

Starting with some paper

and pencil in my hand

Im trying to write the song

and somehow take a stand

The music made me love you

For everything you've done

If it wasnt for that music

I would have never known your son

At camp your loves refreshing

and we know your always pure

But when we leave the camp behind

The world leaves us unsure

Unsure of what to do

Unsure where to go

ALl i knows that i need you now

to hold me as we grow

closer in heart

and in my life you shine so bright

Which then i know you listen as I knew to pray at night

For you so loved our world

That you gave your only son

So that I could live in heavan With you

When my life is done

Contentment

Findin myself and where to go from here

to search through my soul to wipe away my tears

embrace all i care about

because i am never getting another chance

another chance for this dance

To dance to life with such amazing song

and have all my friends join along

To love and cherish every moment

To fill my life to hearts concent